For being on the verge of opening my own book shop, I've read very few of "the greats." So to change that, I want to have read these all by the time I'm 30.

( Modern Library's 100 Best Novels (Fiction) )

If you add me, say something or I'll never know!

AMERICA FUCK YEAH

I'M SO FUCKIN STOKED ABOUT THE HEALTH CARE BILL. I could just KISS Lloyd Doggett for the speech he gave tonight omfg

Yo, dawgs. What's shakin'? Me? My office got a call from the Universal Studios legal department today because I had my torrent program running at work and tried to get a copy of Scream to watch (for the first time) with Erin and Marshall. So that's pretty cool and won't be awful when my boss gets back from Brazil.

I also carved a Sophia Petrillo pumpkin to match my bangarang Sophia Petrillo costume. I love Halloween but I hate Halloween parties, so we're just dressing up and handing out candy and watching Wizard People, Dear Reader.





I'm also halfway through day 3 of the Master Cleanse, so there's that too. I hate myself for scheduling this thing during Halloween though because that means I get none of these this year.



And I used Marshall's toothbrush last night. On porpoise. (Hi, darling!)

I'm running (running!) in my first 5k in November and not only is Marshall taking off work to be there, but my parents are going against my mom's doctor's orders and coming up for the day to cheer me on.

Unrelated but fucking awesome:

Ladies and gentlemen, tonight marks the 2009 debut of Alicia's Giant Flannel Pants.



Fitting clear over my boobs since 2004!



These pants were the best thing to come out of that whole thing with Blake.

Boy howdy, y'all. All it takes is one note from a dude (scrawled while brushing his teeth) that says I'm the girl he wants to be with ~~forever~~ and I stop being one of those "weddings are for schmucks" girls and slip right into a hyperdrive form of

WEDDING FEVER!!!!!

Whatever I just found out I get paid vacation for our trip to Florida next week so yaaaaaay.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We're about to hit our cruising altitude and we're ahead of schedule to hit Hurf Island International. If you look to your left, you can see WHARRRRGBL Falls, and on your right in about 30 minutes, be sure to check out the Derp Derp Derp mountain range.

Thank you for flying Durf Airlines, a subsidiary of HURR DURR Travel. Captain Abby, over and out.



Okay she's not crazy about them (yet) BUT SHE WILL BE.

I want to take you in that bedroom, lock the door, take your clothes off with my teeth, and give you a go round like you've never had before.

UNF

MINE. MINE DOES. omfg you guys I'm about to have a dog who OWNS DOGGLES.



You can bet your sweet ass that we'll be wearing them infinitely more often than Abby will. Whatever I do what I want.

http://community.livejournal.com/ontd_political/4098777.html?thread=244839641#t244839641

Whatever I just want to brag about the greatest comment I've ever made.

1. She's NEVER SEEN ARMAGEDDON and has no interest in seeing it (what the fuck)
2. 20 minutes ago was the first time she EVER heard *NSYNC's "I Want You Back"
3. She knows every word and chord of a Sister Hazel song but had to ask "Is 702 the band name and the song is called 'Where My Girls At'?"

This list will probably grow a LOT over the course of the night.

Irony:

Stepping on a fish hook (with a dead fish hanging on it D:) at the lake and having to pay $166 for a normally-$40 tetanus shot because I can't afford health insurance. The day after I attended a health care reform rally.

The rally today was...interesting. We had a chance to cut in line and get inside to see Doggett speak, but we ended up deciding to stay outside and counter-protest the protesters. Our signs were amazing, even if the backs of them both would have only been funny to people in ontd_political.


(Mine on the left, Erin's on the right)


(Same)

I decided to talk to some secessionists, which was a huge fucking mistake. I just asked them a few standard questions, like "How do you expect us to get by without any money from the government?" and "But wasn't it hypocritical that Rick Perry asked for assistance with the wildfires just weeks after saying we didn't need the US government?" and "Do you really think the Texas national guard could protect us from an invading country? REALLY?!" They started getting mad at us and told us to stand in traffic. Which was cool.

There was a LaRouche supporter who totally Godwin'd on us by having a picture of Obama with a Hitler moutstache. People still pay attention to/care about/follow LaRouche? Really? Damn.

Some fucker with a video camera came up to us and asked a couple of us what we thought the 10th amendment meant and when I said "I don't answer questions like that on camera," he said, "Yeah I figured you didn't know." Okay, yeah, because I don't want to say something about state sovereignty while you record it, only so you can chop it up later at home and make me look like an idiot, that means I don't know the 10th amendment. Cool story, bro.

We chanted back and forth for a little while before we decided to walk around a bit. We apparently made it to a much less civilized part of the crazies, where we ended up across the street from King Broseph of Brosylvania. The dude looked like he stepped out of his frat house and onto the street. He saw my single payer sign while he was in the middle of some diatribe to someone else and immediately redirected his ire towards me. He shouted at me that he doesn't want to pay for my Lasik surgery (what??), that I just needed to work harder (bootstraps, fuckers!), and that it's my fault we're still fighting the war. I started getting hilariously frustrated with the dude and was like, "Okay! You convinced me! I give up!" and some old fart behind him got all "OOOOOOHHH BEING DEMEANING IS SO MATUUUUUUURRREEEEE." Fuck off, fucker. My fist will show your face maturity.

Anyway, I took some pictures of the crazies. ( Where is the birth certificate? )

When we left, we passed the sign torch to these to adorable girls. They were standing behind us when King Broseph was hulking out on me and kept saying "I wanna SMACK him" and "What a DORK," so they seemed like worthy heirs to our lol-throne.

Today's Washington Post sudoku is DRIVING ME FUCKING CRAZY. I have tried to do it six times and have ended up with double 8s in the same column EACH TIME. Ugggghhhhhh I could kill that old guy at the Omni who taught me how to do these puzzles. I was so content with feeling superior for ~never conforming/not acting like an old person, and now I can't fall asleep if I haven't done today's puzzle.

P.S. Do any of you have tumblrs? Links pls. Here's mine.

P.P.S. We're going to a health care rally/town hall with Lloyd Doggett tomorrow. I hope I get to meet him so I can tell him he's my favorite congressman.

Ted Kennedy is why I am a liberal and motherfucking proud of it.

Growing up in a super Republican household with the neocon-est of neoconservative fathers (not counting Irving or Bill Kristol I guess because that's just not fair), I was bred to dislike and distrust anything Kennedy. My mom and I kept a secret stash of People, Life, and Time magazines with articles or pictures of Jackie O, JFK, and John Jr, so I managed to somehow simultaneously idol worship and dislike the Kennedy family thanks to my parents.

When I was in 4th grade, we studied the civil rights movement and had to do a presentation on some aspect of it. While everyone else in my class was doing theirs on bus boycotts and sit-ins, I chose to do mine on the congressional process to pass the National Voting Rights Act of 1965. Because I was a huge dork. That was the first time I had really cared or paid attention to anything regarding that family outside of the glitz and glamour I saw in my mom's magazines. Even as a 4th grader, I could see that there was something worth respecting and admiring in Ted, even though I was still praying every night for Clinton to not be reelected in 1996. (Seriously.)

At some point in 2004, Chappaquiddick came up in a conversation with Blake and since he was a jackass and I liked to play the devil's advocate, even though I often agreed with him, I said that Ted Kennedy was a brilliant politician. I had to find a way to back up this claim, and so I spent an entire evening reading about his work in the senate for the prior 42 years.

It was that night when I realized that I had it all wrong about what it means to be a liberal, and transformed from Bush-loving Baptist to something entirely different. It was a rocky process, once that included losing a fiance and weakening the bond I have with my father (who, despite his crazy, is still my hero), leaving the church in which I was raised, and having to rethink everything I had previous believed. But I did it and I can honestly say I'm a better person for it.

So yeah, maybe he was an alcoholic, a possible murderer, an alleged rapist, and an all-around cad, but he is also the reason why I managed to escape my previous fate of being a France-hating, gun-toting, gay-discriminating, misogynistic birther. So thank you, Ted, and may you rest in peace.

I have my cat draped along my right side, my puppy stretched the entire length of my left side, I'm listening to a brand new band that I already love, the slight taste of homemade chocolate peanut butter cupcakes is in my mouth, and the remnants of a sunburn from a day spent at the lake with the love of my life (+ our two wonderful dawgs) is smarting on my forehead and shoulders.

Honestly, I couldn't be more content with my life right now.

And it turns out instead of blood, you got love songs traveling through your veins
What I found were all the words you ever sang
Tapped into the bones of your ribcage
And I wept when I heard deep beneath your chest
Beat as one of all the hearts of all the friends you loved best

I don't have nightmares often (like, never) and compared to some of the horror shows that Erin's brain dreams up, my nightmares are relatively tame, but there's this one basic formula of a dream I have on a fairly regular basis and it just fucks up my head for the whole day following.

Basically, I move into a new place after some sort of weird, traumatic experience in my life. It's a shit hole, and all of the neighbors are women, but I don't ever talk to them because I spend all of my time in the apartment. One day I'm walking the dog in the communal backyard when I see a motherfucking lion in the backyard. I run upstairs with the dog while the backyard fills up with lions. The dog and I are watching all of this from the window when a bunch of the women show up on my porch and try to get the windows and/or door open to let in the lions. We can't go out the front door because there's a motherfucking BEAR in front of it, so I'm stuck trying to keep them from shoving open the door while also trying to keep them from opening a window. It speeds up to a frantic pace, with one of the lions pacing on the porch behind the women, when one of them finally busts open the door. The lion comes in, licks his chops at me and the dog, and then I wake up. Absolutely terrified out of my motherfucking mind.

Dear The Internet,